For some reason, the same money topic keeps coming up. This has never really happened too often before last month, but now it’s happened at least 5 times in March so far. What is it you say?
Three people on different days asked my BF how he affords our house. I was in the bedroom all three times and acted like I didn’t hear it because I wanted to see what else the person was going to say. Other times he says that people have asked him at work recently.
My BF doesn’t exactly have the highest paying job on earth, but he has great benefits, and that’s the main reason why he stays. His benefits include:
4 weeks of paid vacation
4 personal days and the ability to call in on other days without getting reprimanded
Completely free insurance (no monthly premium) with only a $5 copay (but most of the time he doesn’t pay anything)
Nearly free prescriptions
Emergency room visits are completely free also
His work also pays for schooling up to $20,000 (I think that’s the amount, it might be $20,000 a year, I can’t remember).
I think his benefits are great, and honestly make up for the fact that he’s paid less. However, not everyone agrees.
He knows he makes less money. Everything is joint and all of our money is allocated the same way. I don’t feel taken advantage of or anything (even though that’s what people have told me). Thankfully, since he does know that I’m busy, he does do most of everything around the house. All I do is cook (because he hates it), but I also hate cleaning. He does the laundry, cleans, mows the yard, etc. I’ve told you all this before, but I’ve probably made our bed less than 5 times in the whole 5 years that we’ve lived together.
I do realize that the traditional household roles are somewhat reversed in our relationship, but it works, and people shouldn’t be asking!
Anyways, he told the three people (whom I overheard) that we both pay for everything together, and that I make much more money. I think it’s kind of a rude question to ask someone how they can afford a house on their salary, but we’ll forget that point. They always think it’s really weird when a woman makes more money. Why should it matter what I make? I’m still the same person.
Every time he tells people that I make more money, they kind of react rudely and act like he’s not worth anything.
I will most likely always make more money than him. I’m in the financial services industry and about to get my MBA, so obviously I did this for financial security. I most likely make more money than people in my group of friends, let alone just the guys in my group of friends. I don’t think this should affect anything or my relationships with other people.
I honestly don’t think this bothered him until now since so many people have asked him recently, so now he’s been thinking about it a lot. The other day he told me that he wants to start looking for a job with similar benefits and better pay. The benefits will most likely be worse.
I feel bad because he was happy with his life before, but now everyone has him rethinking everything, but maybe this will be for the best. He’s been at his current job for awhile and there’s not much more room to grow unless he gets a business degree (they don’t allow for any other degree in order to advance further).
We have similar goals, get along great, love each other, have fun together, and think alike. Why should money matter?
I really don’t think it should matter, and my opinion obviously means something in my relationship (as oppose to others who are not in my relationship) because I’m the one who makes more. If me and him have no problem, and it’s been working great this whole time, why would we switch it? We wouldn’t of course.
Have any of you come across people being judgmental?
Will/do you make more or less than your significant other?
P.S. I should also say that 2 of these people are not super close friends. The 2 people who came over and asked were friends of friends, and the 3rd person who asked at our house was actually our old roommate. He came over and asked, I don’t know why he didn’t ask before.
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